An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years.
Upon her return, her Father cursed her.
"Where have ye been all this time?
Why did ye not write to us, not even a line?
Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old Mother thru?"
The girl, crying, replied, "Sniff, sniff ... Dad ...I became a prostitute ..."
"Ye what!!? Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner!
You're a disgrace to this Catholic family."
"OK, Dad-- as ye wish. I just came back to give mum this luxurious fur
coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion plus a $5 million savings certificate.
For ye little brother, this gold Rolex. And for ye Daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside plus a membership to the country club ... (takes a breath) ... and an invitation for ye all to spend New Years Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera and ... "
"Now what was it ye said ye had become?" says Dad.
Girl, crying again, "Sniff, sniff ... a prostitute Daddy! Sniff, sniff."
"Oh! Be Jesus! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a Protestant. Come here and give yer old Dad a hug."